Tuesday, May 31, 2016
{ 10:57 PM }
On a side note,
Some time back,
I mentioned to dear dear i would like to push forward the little nuggets plan from 2017 to this year.
(Technically 2018 la, since i want nuggets to be born in 2018)
He reject me, saying that he would like to stick to plans.
Understandable, I've just graduated and just gotten a job, whereby he is in the midst of his career advancement.
BUT STILL! Looking at other people with their children really just make me feel darn jealous!!
CAN'T WAITTTTT
I hope nuggets would be born in 2018, year of dog (same as me) and in the month of August (same as me also HAHAHAHA)
{ 10:51 PM }
As usual, he don't annoy me he can't go to bed, ARGHHH *roll eyes*
So as usual also, he got scolded by me lo.
I mean he kinda deserve it.
Til now I'm still wondering and asking the million question
"Can we really walk down the path together hand in hand?"
I honestly am very vexed and puzzled by this question but i secretly suspect i'll never get the answer to this question.
Sometimes i feel i just wanna reach this stage of life i fast forward all thats happening at the moment.
In the end, i missed out a lot.
Therefore i keep reminding myself and telling myself to take it slow.
I need to see and appreciate and cherish current moment before it passes.
I know i'll regret someday if not now.
Which reminds me of this guy from my past, that never seems to stop haunting me till this day.
People know him by Hxxxxa but i know him as "V".
This is the nickname i called him by, or at least used to.
Those were really good times and the times that really taught me a lesson.
A lesson called regret.
To be honest, time to time, i would dig out our stuff like my birthday cards from him my gift to him and just think of the past and all the "what ifs"
I held all those memories close to heart.
I guess the hardest part to let go was how things ended between us.
I mean its been so long, and i don't know and can't remember what went wrong with our friendship also.
Till today i still find it a pity how things ended between us, you know.
Such a pity it sucks balls lo.
Writing about him is not to get him back or what, but i really cannot get over the fact of how things ended between us.
I think a few years back we did have a brief conversation which made me wonder if he thought it was a pity as to how things ended between us.
I guess I'm just like so, i need closure.
I've talk to dear dear about this, he told me that if i wanna contact "V", i should just go ahead
(thanks dear dear for being so understanding), but he also told me it'll be a waste of time.
But i just wanna find closure somewhere between conversations.
i guess? i hope we can still be friends. even thought i only maintain contact with like Janice, Lijia, YP and XW from back in the days la.
I guess i'll summon the courage.
PS: Even thought i know chances are slim, i hope dear dear and i get the AMK flat we've applied for, results out by July!
*praying damn hard, literally*
