Saturday, October 31, 2015
{ 12:49 AM }
{ 12:48 AM }
Had a brief argument again with him this afternoon.
My first thought was " I knew it ! It'll never work out between us ! " - plus super annoyed by him.
But after I calm down, I'm like whatever, Since I can't live without him, I need to communicate with him.
I know I'm very anal on certain issues or things. But to me it's just intolerable. So I told him what he always told me. Still not too late to regret and back out now. He's is "Hmms" -____-
Sighs.
I guess I told myself in relationship must give and take must compromise. So we each took a step back and oh well, life goes on..
I seriously wonder sometimes where is the bottom line as to giving in ?
Isn't it meaningless if the both of us keep giving in till we feel it's suffering to be in a relationship ? -till now idk where is my bottom line
And it might be a question I'll never know for sure.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
{ 4:19 AM }
So desperately want things to be back to normal between us. Sighs.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
{ 6:24 AM }
It's already been some time so far since the quarrel.
Somehow we went back to normal I guess ?
But to me it's still a lil diff but I just can't describe the feeling.
I just keep asking myself why we haven't split yet.
I guess this is my defense mechanism working up - pushing ppl awhile before they hurt me or I feel hurt
Sometimes I think I'm really selfish. How can I hurt him by wanting to separate so I hurt him instead of him me ?
I really love this guy but yet at the same time, idk how to love him the way he deserved to be loved.
I just wanna give him my all and best only. But if my love for him is just hurting him. Should I let him go ?
Every time I'm with him, I feel sorry toward him like I owe him smth. I feel sorry that he loves me for the person that I am.
I really don't know if we are really compatible. Maybe he's right. I'm always thinking too much. But he has no idea how I wanna just simply love him and not think of other stuff. I wished!
What shld I do about us ?
Thursday, October 22, 2015
{ 1:44 AM }
Finally we're reached the stage at the split road.
We were discussing if we would like to continue the relationship or temporary separate, but anws tts to me not to him lah.
He prefers to be together i guess?
Im not sure too since he's like whatever anything idk.
Sighs
Don't try to change anybody. And they should let you be yourself, 'You loved me when you met me, so let's keep going!'
So thats similar to something he said, and he feels i've changed.
I have a good one for him too, "was i like so all along or do you not understand me well enough?"
I feel he do not know me well enough..
Anws, i told him, I'm not sure about us too.
Therefore as usual we gonna let things be.
Why? Why does my head keep telling me that to separate for now is the best thing to do but my heart just can't let him go?
