Its like I'm depressing the shit out of myself. LOLOL

I feel i really shouldn't have gotten my parents to my sis psychiatrist.

Now the whole family is in an awkward atmosphere.

Quarrels, arguments, smoking.
Tense situation.

My dear S
All full of idk what in her mind
Meeting all kinds of guy everyday on a date don't know for what fuck srsly
Wouldn't listen to our advice.
Sometimes i see the past me in her
And I'm like i wished there was someone to guide me to the right path
So im trrying to do that for her now
but like impossible only?
Cause she's always texting and talking about all her dates.
Which we're not really that keen to know.
Afraid for our ears :x
Cause we feel she's more interested in guys and other STUFF than us when we're together.
And when we talk to her its like "Did i offend her or pissed her off again?"
Cause of the black face.
I know she'll say this is her face but still can't help but wonder....

Then there is this CK situation.
Idk what to do with him honestly.
Its like every inch of my gut is telling me to run away from him, but i can't
And he's like playing with me too?
All the winking and all. Zzzz
Do I really like him at all?
IDK.

Lastly, the one issue that i realise is becoming a concern for me
Im like getting addicted to smoking which i fking cannot believe it!!!
Cause this is the 7th year I'm smoking then addicted?!?!
WTF srsly?!?!
Sighs, shall control slowly and curb the urges to smoke!
I refuse to be an addict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I guess for the moment I'll just lay everything there and let it play out.
I don't want to mess things up again.
Family/Friendship/BGR :/
Im afraid to even move and inch.