Whether in the future what will happen to us, I'm just glad to have the chance to create all these fun and sweet memories with him.  

Ytd he came to find me at 1AM, we sat down at a park and later on move to a public carpark. 

We were like fooling around and having fun, 

But I guess we played too hard cause I have bruises all over ;D

But I still had fun and enjoyed messing with him. Hahas  

We were like close and he trapped me in his arms. For like quite long. My back to his chest. 

He's quite strong for his build ;D

Then on the car, fooling around again, 

The look on his face, makes me feel like he wanna kiss me and I wanna kiss him too. 

But we didn't. ;D 

It just feel like it was just too fast for our pace now. 

I don't wanna treat him as just a date and him too. 

So im glad we're honest with each other and am equally serious about each other. 

It's feels like being with him is so comfortable sometimes I forget to maintain abit infront of him ;D

And he likes to tease me I like to tease him back but eventually he will give in. 

He listens and surprise me with random dates ;D

I kinda like it. 

Even though previously he says that he does not have any feelings for me. I hope he's beginning to really look at me. 

He always say try first, slowly take our time, see how things goes. 

Having the same trust issues in BGR,

I get him, he gets me, 

so for him, I'm willing to wait. 

Wait till that day that tight sealed lips of his will open up and say somthing I'd like to hear..

I'm really happy I can feel for someone after so many years and that he makes me happy and wanna fall in love again. 

Now I know a dead heart can be revived by the correct person. 

I hope I can be the one to revive his too. 

XOXO

Cause I got to know CK more. 

Its like I'm depressing the shit out of myself. LOLOL

I feel i really shouldn't have gotten my parents to my sis psychiatrist.

Now the whole family is in an awkward atmosphere.

Quarrels, arguments, smoking.
Tense situation.

My dear S
All full of idk what in her mind
Meeting all kinds of guy everyday on a date don't know for what fuck srsly
Wouldn't listen to our advice.
Sometimes i see the past me in her
And I'm like i wished there was someone to guide me to the right path
So im trrying to do that for her now
but like impossible only?
Cause she's always texting and talking about all her dates.
Which we're not really that keen to know.
Afraid for our ears :x
Cause we feel she's more interested in guys and other STUFF than us when we're together.
And when we talk to her its like "Did i offend her or pissed her off again?"
Cause of the black face.
I know she'll say this is her face but still can't help but wonder....

Then there is this CK situation.
Idk what to do with him honestly.
Its like every inch of my gut is telling me to run away from him, but i can't
And he's like playing with me too?
All the winking and all. Zzzz
Do I really like him at all?
IDK.

Lastly, the one issue that i realise is becoming a concern for me
Im like getting addicted to smoking which i fking cannot believe it!!!
Cause this is the 7th year I'm smoking then addicted?!?!
WTF srsly?!?!
Sighs, shall control slowly and curb the urges to smoke!
I refuse to be an addict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I guess for the moment I'll just lay everything there and let it play out.
I don't want to mess things up again.
Family/Friendship/BGR :/
Im afraid to even move and inch.

Okay. Exaggerate abit too much. 

But I know whatever feelings he has for me ceased. 

Sighs. 

All my effort went down the drain. 

Idw what shld I do now. 

Guess I can only wait.

And then one day perhaps we'll walk pass each other's life.

Strangers Again. 

A button in me just got switched off. 

I just fucking don't want to care anymore. 

Guess when the heart gets broken till unmendable it just gets the way it is. 

Idk how to bring it across to you. 

I also dk what is it that you thought through but I just wanna say you are a true friend to me and I know you will help me when I'm in need. 

I'm v grateful and really you're not adding to my burden or anything.

To me, I'm really glad I can say everything to you.

And be there when I break down. 

Funny how others cannot pry open my mouth. 

Must be I owe you de in past life. ;D

No, really. 

Stop saying you're adding to my burden you asshole..! 

Cause you're not. 

You're my friend. 

Get it?